Lokpal Bill Movement: Is the time right?!!

So the stage is finally set. The key players are ready on both sides. The civil society under the leadership of Anna Hazare is all set to take on the most corrupt government of our country till date (as said by Anna himself). The whole nation is supporting Anna and with the freedom struggle like movement on the cards , the youth of the country is especially excited . I also support Anna whole- heartedly. His intent of weeding out corruption from the country is commendable indeed. But personally I feel that a more pragmatic stand should have been taken on the issue. Every action you do needs a correct timing. Even a correct move at the wrong time can prove detrimental. Therefore, I think that waging such a mass movement currently lacks pragmatism. Given the current situation in the country, the bane of corruption is not the only problem which India is facing. Many other issues seek redressal, some of them being the land acquisition act amendment, food security bill, proper implementation of Aadhar scheme and gaining consensus on the much awaited GST. With the monsoon session of the parliament in motion, these issues should be at the forefront. I agree that corruption has long been plaguing our country, but the civil society members should wait for the monsoon session of the Parliament to end so that atleast some ground is covered on these issues which are outlined above.

The Lokpal Bill was introduced in the Parliament for the first time by Shanti Bhushan in 1968, who is currently a member of the civil society committee. Since then, Lokpal Bill has been introduced many times in the Parliament, but has not been passed till date. The government has finally agreed to present the Lokpal bill in this session. It is true that the bill is weak in effect, but still expecting to have the best Lokpal bill on first go seems quite utopian to me. Also, the proposal of including the judiciary under the Lokpal’s ambit is a bad idea as we already are in the process of enacting a judicial accountability bill for that. Creating an all powerful Lokpal without sufficient crosschecks can turn it into a Frankenstein’s monster. We know that ‘Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely’; and therefore the possibility of corruption in the Lokpal is not undeniable, as it is possible that the civil society representatives chosen in future may not be as morally upright as Anna Hazare, Arvind Kejriwal and Kiran Bedi.

With the Downgrading of the USA by S&P and current economic slowdown in Europe, the fright of an impending recession is at an all time high. Markets are low on confidence and inflation is sky rocketing as well. Therefore, in times like these, the focus of the country should be on controlling this economic turmoil . Stress should be laid on attracting investment in India, as currently the investors are disillusioned with the US. India should not let go of this opportunity. The time is ripe for buttressing our economy. And talking about corruption-for the time being, the CAG is doing an exceptional job, as can be seen from its reports on 2G and CWG scam.

Therefore, what I feel is that the government and civil society should engage in a more constructive dialogue than the previous one, with both behaving less stubbornly. Moreover, the whole political class should also keep in mind not to let the whole monsoon session go to waste by engaging in unnecessary politically motivated tussle and leg- pulling. Rather they should aim at tackling the important issues and addressing them as swiftly as possible. The civil society should allow the Lokpal Bill to be tabled in the parliament and if it does not function satisfactorily, it should try to mobilize the political class against it. After all, there’s no need to render the parliamentary system of government obsolete.

An Interview with J. Jayalalitha

Finally, the poll results are out for the 4 states. The election results underscored women power, with two of the largest states in the country opting for a woman head of the state. The result in West Bengal was an expected one – with people riling under the Left Rule for 34 long years. So it was quite obvious that people of Bengal voted for the much needed Poriborton. As Shashi Tharoor aptly tweeted,‘’The one traffic light that was red for 34 years just turned green in Bengal.’’ Cheeky one, eh?!!

But the result which took the Poll Pundits by surprise was the one in Tamil Nadu. Negating all the exit poll predictions of a neck-to neck tie, Amma emerged as the heavyweight of Tamil Nadu political scene, reducing the ruling DMK-Congress alliance to a mere 30 seats in the 234 member strong assembly. It was then I decided to interview Miss J. Jayalalitha, fondly called Amma by her followers, on her triumph.

So here I was at her Poes Garden residence, waiting for the leader. A few minutes later, there she emerged, looking quite pleased with herself. I stood up and greeted her. She signalled at me to take my place and begin the interview.

Me: Congratulations, Amma. Finally your hard work has paid off. It was really an emphatic victory.

Amma: Nandri, Nandri.

Me: What??!!

Amma: Oh sorry, I mean Thank you.

Me: Oh, no problem ma’am. So how does it feel after winning the elections? (Stupid Question, but indeed a good conversation starter)

Amma: It feels really great. The people of Tamil Nadu have shown the outgoing government the power of the ballot. I thank them all for giving me an opportunity to serve the state again.

Me: The Exit Poll surveys across various news channels had predicted a close finish in the elections. Did this win come as a surprise to you?

Amma: I think Exit Polls are nothing more than a way devised by the news channels to increase their TRPs during election time. I was pretty confident about my victory and knew in my heart that the people of Tamil Nadu will punish DMK for its misdeeds.

Me: Don’t you think that this win might be the result of anti-incumbency?

Amma: Don’t you dare take away the credit from us. The question of anti-incumbency doesn’t arise here at all. There were far bigger issues at stake like bad governance, slow- paced development of the state and widespread corruption. I, just like any shrewd politician would have done, exploited these issues to my party’s advantage.

Me: Talking about corruption, how do you think this issue helped you in winning these elections?

Amma: I think it was the issue of corruption only that turned out to be the biggest nemesis of DMK-Congress alliance in these elections. The 2G case confirmed the extent of corruption in the previous government. Instead of doing developmental work with people’s taxes, my opponent Mr. Karunanidhi spent more money on purchasing designer shades for himself and funding the family-run Kalaignar TV.

Me: Would you like to mention any other issues that might have helped you?

Amma: Yes, another such issue was widespread nepotism in DMK. You see, Karunanidhi is a family man. He likes to marry and make babies. He has married thrice and has five children. So in order to support his family, he needs extra means like corruption and nepotism. All the major positions in the party are held by his kin. This has led to disenchantment among the voters as well as DMK members. Vaiko left the party because of this reason only. Her daughter Kanimozhi, taking cue from him, also got involved in 2G scam so that she could make more money for her family. His sons Azhagiri and Stalin are also involved in an ugly family feud as both want to inherit their father’s political legacy.

Me: So how did this help you?

Anna: Very simple, while Karuna is a family man, I’m more of a public person. He likes to marry and make babies. On the other hand, I like to enjoy my life without making babies as I’m a supporter of family planning. I even stayed away from marriage as I wanted to devote my life for the people’s welfare.

The people knew that if they elect Karunanidhi again, he and his family members would engage in more corruption to sustain themselves. This was not the case with me, and that is why people chose me over him.

Me: Oh, I see. Now let us move on to the issue of freebies. Last time in 2006, it is supposed that DMK won the election because of its promise of free TV sets and rice at Rs.2/kg to the poor. This time also DMK had promised a lot of freebies. How did you counter this move of your opposition?

Amma: My opposition party DMK was quite short-sighted in their approach of freebies. They promised free mixers or grinders to women, free laptops to SC/ST students and free rice of 35 kg to BPL families if voted back to power.

I, on the other hand, realized this was just not enough. Do you think only SC/ST students need laptops. NO. After class 11^th, I think Facebook and Twitter accounts are must for all the students in this digital age. So I decided to give laptops to all the students irrespective of their caste after class 11^th itself. This also projected me as a non-casteist person. This is what you call Killing two birds with one stone.

Also, since I’m not a cheapskate like DMK people, I decided to give mixer as well as grinder to the women in Tamil Nadu. Just like you can’t imagine Idli without Sambhar, in the same way, the idea of a mixer without a grinder was quite ridiculous.

Me: So true.

Amma: Apart from this, I’ll also give free fans to every family considering the extremely hot weather in Tamil Nadu and 4 grams of gold to poor women for mangalsutra. Being a fan of daily soaps myself, I have also decided that free cable connections be installed in every poor household. This will ensure that all my sisters can enjoy these terrific shows on television without having to bear with the bullshit programmes which are telecasted on Doordarshan, which act more as sedatives than entertainers. Remember, a TV set without a cable connection is exactly like serving Idli without Sambhar.

Me: So true….that was really a masterstroke.

Amma: Thank you very much.

Me: But don’t you consider distribution of freebies to be unethical in politics?

Amma: Why is it unethical? Do we consider the various sales organized by big commercial brands as unethical? NO. Just as they put items on sale to lure customers to buy their low quality and obsolete products, same is the case here. And considering the love of Indians for free stuff, I knew that success would be mine.

Me: Rajnikanth was in support of your political opponent DMK. Weren’t you concerned about his superhuman influence on the voters’ psyche?

Amma: If DMK had Rajnikanth, then I had Vijaykanth. And I knew Vijaykanth and I combined will have far more star power than Rajnikanth alone.

J.Jayalalitha was herself a popular Tamil Actress in her yesteryears.

Moreover, Rajnikanth’s superhuman qualities are limited to PJ’s with no semblance of reality. This was confirmed when he was recently admitted to the hospital for breathing problems.

Her mobile beeps. Checks it…

Amma: Another Rajnikanth joke, hahaha.

Me: (chuckling) This election was a great leap forward for the women politicians as Mamata Bannerjee too ousted the left from Bengal after their 3 decade long rule. Would you like to comment on that?

Amma: I am a staunch believer of woman power. I think that women have immense power. Whatever they do, they have the capability to excel. Take the example of Kanimozhi, Mamata and me. While Kanimozhi has proved herself exceptional in the field of corruption, Mamata and I are going to show how good administrators we are. Now that Amma and Didi have come to power, sabhi corrupt logon ki maa behen ek hone wali hai.

Me: I wish that happens. It was really nice of you to take time out from your busy schedule for this interview.

Amma: No problem, it was truly my pleasure.

Me: I wish Tamil Nadu and you all good luck in the world.

Amma: Nandri, Nandri!! I mean Thank you very much.

Badhai ho Badhai...

Finally the much publicised and followed drama about the wedding of India’s ace tennis star Sania Mirza came to a premature conclusion yesterday.First of all,I would like to thank both Sania and Shoaib for preponing the big day,as this has now finally paved the way for other news stories’ telecast on the news channels.Otherwise it would have been the same torturous Sania-Shoaib wedding show for another 3 days. Also,before congratulating Sania and Shoaib for their wedding,I would like to commend the TOI group and Jung group,for finally their ‘Aman ki Asha’ campaign has shown some concrete result.Though this marriage has created a massive unrest and despair among the male admirers of Sania Mirza,still the success of ‘Aman ki Asha’ can’t be denied,despite it being in the form of a matrimonial alliance.And of course,how can I leave out the bride and the groom…so congratulations to the newlyweds.

Now let’s remember some other people associated with the newlyweds.Who else can they be than Sohrab Mirza- the ex fiancee of Sania and Ayesha Siddiqui,the so called ex-wife of Shoaib Malik.First let us talk about Ayesha Siddiqui(being a gentleman,Ladies first!!!).This so called first wife of Shoaib woke up from her deep slumber when the news of his beloved husband marrying Sania reached her ears.Being a ‘pativrata bhartiya nari’,how could she succumb to this sheer injustice.And therefore started the quite anticipated flurry of allegations.Ayesha claimed to be the first wife of Shoaib,even alleging that she was pregnant with his child and had a miscarriage.Poor Ayesha…my heart genuinely weeps for her,for God chose her for these terrible hardships.While all this drama was going on,not even once did she make a public appearance,the reason being her embarrassment on being excessively fat.Quite strange that a conventional Muslim Girl feels greater embarrassment on being fat rather than on making a complete mockery of herself in front of the whole world in media glare.Even more interesting is the Shoaib’s version of the tale.He avers that he was duped into marrying Ayesha and was married over the phone,having never actually met her in person.(Then how did she get pregnant???!!!Maybe Cross-Border insemination….).Eventually,the situation was resolved after Shoaib divorced Ayesha.How this happened,only the concerned know.Well,leave it.Some things are better not understood.

Now let us come to the case of Mr.Sohrab Mirza,childhood friend and ex-fiancee of Sania Mirza.Envied by all till recently,he has turned into an object of sympathy.He asserts that Sania’s decision would have no ill effect on their friendship and he is happy for her.The grapes are sour,indeed.Thinking of Sohrab’s condition,I can only think of an old hindi saying –“Haath aaya par muh naa laga”.The only thing I can say to him is that never be sad for what is over,just be glad that it was once yours.

But be assured,the controversies surrounding Sania Mirza are never going to die,for she has turned into Rakhi Sawant of Indian Sports.Pakitan Tennis Federation’s chief has already asked Sania to play for Pakistan,already raising several eyebrows.Speculations regarding Sania’s tennis career are also rife,with people even conjecturing that this marriage might prove to be the end of her tennis career.I’m also the one seriously concerned,because if Sania stops playing,there would be no Indian beauty to drool over in the International Tennis circuit.Even if she continues playing,I can’t see any possibility of her winning any major title (it is quite difficult to move in a ‘burkha’ you know…).The list of such surmises is unending indeed.What we can wish for is that Sania and Shoaib have a happy married life ahead of them and Sania continues to play (in skimpy skirts,of course!!!).If this happens,we can put a hand on our heart and say,as Baba Ranchhoddas aka Rancho taught us,’’ Aal izz well,Aal izz well.”

THE ONLY SON

It was a long day,and a quite exhausting one-both physically and mentally.I was on my way home.My best friend Aneesh had a terrible accident.I bet you know how common road accidents are in this country.Everyday we hear news about an accident happening some place.But who cares,life goes on and the accidents continue to happen.

So where was I.Oh yes,I remember,Aneesh’s accident.The accident was quite fatal,with Aneesh sustaining multiple fractures.But by God’s grace,Aneesh was alive,still breathing.I was at the hospital by Aneesh’s side.It was awful.Hospitals make me feel sick. The over-the-top cleanliness,Doctors and Nurses dressed in white and the distinctive odour lingering in the hospital have a nauseating effect on me.But sometimes endurance is the only way.So there I was by my best friend’s side,praying silently for his quick recuperation.Aneesh’s parents were obviously very tensed after the accident.It was quite impossible to fathom how disastrous it would have been for them if anything would have happened to Aneesh.He was their only son,you know.So there they were,thanking and praising lord for saving their only son’s life.

Still engrossed by these depressing thoughts,eventually I reached home.It was quite a relief to be back home after such a gruesome ordeal in the hospital.I believe that the combined feeling of exhilarartion and relaxedness which swept over me on reaching home is common to almost all of us when we reach home after a long and tiring day.But as soon as I headed for the entrance of my home,the feeling of joy departed and a feeling of disdain took over as if an evil soul had possessed a man of God.The door of my house was open and through it I could see a flurry of visitors in my house,and this sank my heart.I am not much of a social person,you know.It is generally the tendency of uncles and aunties of our country to ask totally rubbish questions like “ Beta,how are you” or “How is College”,behaving as if they don’t have the slightest clue of what my answer would be.God save me from such pretentious people.

But as I have already said once,sometimes endurance is the only way.So I cursed all the visitors under my breath and keeping my emotions and true feelings in control,I entered the house.The ambience of the house felt somewhat strange,sort of lamenting I can say.I got really concerned.Quite predictably,pessimism took over me and negative thoughts started clouding up my mind.People were engulfed in their own thoughts,heads down,as if they were in a deep slumber.No one took my notice as I passed.What took me by surprise was the presence of Aneesh’s Parents.Why were they here,when their own son was in the hospital with half his bones broken.Ignoring them,I headed straight for the kitchen,as I was really starving and was badly in need of food.But alas,so neatly arranged was the kitchen,as always I couldn’t find anything to gorge upon.You know,sometimes too much order can also pose a serious problem.Disappointed I called out aloud-“Ma,where are you?.Get here fast and give me something to feed myself,I’m starving.”I waited for her reply,but none came.Now I’ve had enough.Impatient, I headed straight for my room,and what I saw inside was appalling.There on the bed sat my mother, shoulders slouched and eyes red,as if she had been crying for quite some time.Several of my relatives were next to her,consoling her.There in the corner stood my dad,ash-faced staring right in the middle of the room and shivering uncontrollably.It seemed to me like he was fighting his tears.My uncle was by his side,patting him on the back sympathetically.I followed Papa’s gaze,and then the sight before me was so astonishing that it gave me goosebumps.There on the bed was a body,motionless and absolutely still,surrounded by lamenting women.Perplexion took my toll,and I inched towards it,fearing what lay ahead.I finally reached close enough to see whose body it was.The face which presented itself before me was a familiar one.How couldn’t it be,it was mine.Right in front of me,my body was lying perfectly still,my face white and emotionless,as if all the blood had been sucked out of it.I kept staring at my face,unblinking and it seemed an eternity when at last memories came flushing through my mind and I remebered everything.Events were registering in frame by frame,as if a movie was being played inside my head.

I recalled how very happy I was on getting the new bike.It was a present on me making it to the best college of the city.Mom and Dad were really proud.It was an overwhelming experience for them,their son going to college for the first time.I was also overjoyed,why shouldn’t I be as my best friend Aneesh was also in the same college as me.I clearly remember my mother’s words when I was leaving for the college,’’Good luck,beta. Have a nice day.And drive carefully for God’s sake.”I kissed her goodbye,not knowing it was my last goodbye kiss.I picked up Aneesh from his place and we were on our way to college when the unthinkable happened-the accident.It was terrible.There lay both of us right in the middle of the road,bloody as hell.A gentleman,unlike others who were busy staring at us,as if a freak show was on,called for the ambulance.We were rushed to the hospital.What happened next I couldn’t remember.

The flashback was over.I found myself still staring intently at my face,and then the horrendous reality struck me like a bolt of lightning.I was dead.There in front of me lay my body.What was left of it was only the flesh,the soul had long departed it.Panick struck me like never before.I ran straight to my mother,shook her and said,”Mummy,see.Here I am,here is your son.Won’t you kiss me.”No reaction.I let go of her and went straight for Dad.”Daddy,are you listening me.Daddy,control yourself.” Still no reaction.How could they react to me,I was dead.Exhausted,I fell on the floor,still looking at my mother’s weeping face and my father’s cold eyes.Every effort made by others to console them was in vain.How could they be consoled tonight.You know,today their only son had died.