An Interview with J. Jayalalitha

Finally, the poll results are out for the 4 states. The election results underscored women power, with two of the largest states in the country opting for a woman head of the state. The result in West Bengal was an expected one – with people riling under the Left Rule for 34 long years. So it was quite obvious that people of Bengal voted for the much needed Poriborton. As Shashi Tharoor aptly tweeted,‘’The one traffic light that was red for 34 years just turned green in Bengal.’’ Cheeky one, eh?!!

But the result which took the Poll Pundits by surprise was the one in Tamil Nadu. Negating all the exit poll predictions of a neck-to neck tie, Amma emerged as the heavyweight of Tamil Nadu political scene, reducing the ruling DMK-Congress alliance to a mere 30 seats in the 234 member strong assembly. It was then I decided to interview Miss J. Jayalalitha, fondly called Amma by her followers, on her triumph.

So here I was at her Poes Garden residence, waiting for the leader. A few minutes later, there she emerged, looking quite pleased with herself. I stood up and greeted her. She signalled at me to take my place and begin the interview.

Me: Congratulations, Amma. Finally your hard work has paid off. It was really an emphatic victory.

Amma: Nandri, Nandri.

Me: What??!!

Amma: Oh sorry, I mean Thank you.

Me: Oh, no problem ma’am. So how does it feel after winning the elections? (Stupid Question, but indeed a good conversation starter)

Amma: It feels really great. The people of Tamil Nadu have shown the outgoing government the power of the ballot. I thank them all for giving me an opportunity to serve the state again.

Me: The Exit Poll surveys across various news channels had predicted a close finish in the elections. Did this win come as a surprise to you?

Amma: I think Exit Polls are nothing more than a way devised by the news channels to increase their TRPs during election time. I was pretty confident about my victory and knew in my heart that the people of Tamil Nadu will punish DMK for its misdeeds.

Me: Don’t you think that this win might be the result of anti-incumbency?

Amma: Don’t you dare take away the credit from us. The question of anti-incumbency doesn’t arise here at all. There were far bigger issues at stake like bad governance, slow- paced development of the state and widespread corruption. I, just like any shrewd politician would have done, exploited these issues to my party’s advantage.

Me: Talking about corruption, how do you think this issue helped you in winning these elections?

Amma: I think it was the issue of corruption only that turned out to be the biggest nemesis of DMK-Congress alliance in these elections. The 2G case confirmed the extent of corruption in the previous government. Instead of doing developmental work with people’s taxes, my opponent Mr. Karunanidhi spent more money on purchasing designer shades for himself and funding the family-run Kalaignar TV.

Me: Would you like to mention any other issues that might have helped you?

Amma: Yes, another such issue was widespread nepotism in DMK. You see, Karunanidhi is a family man. He likes to marry and make babies. He has married thrice and has five children. So in order to support his family, he needs extra means like corruption and nepotism. All the major positions in the party are held by his kin. This has led to disenchantment among the voters as well as DMK members. Vaiko left the party because of this reason only. Her daughter Kanimozhi, taking cue from him, also got involved in 2G scam so that she could make more money for her family. His sons Azhagiri and Stalin are also involved in an ugly family feud as both want to inherit their father’s political legacy.

Me: So how did this help you?

Anna: Very simple, while Karuna is a family man, I’m more of a public person. He likes to marry and make babies. On the other hand, I like to enjoy my life without making babies as I’m a supporter of family planning. I even stayed away from marriage as I wanted to devote my life for the people’s welfare.

The people knew that if they elect Karunanidhi again, he and his family members would engage in more corruption to sustain themselves. This was not the case with me, and that is why people chose me over him.

Me: Oh, I see. Now let us move on to the issue of freebies. Last time in 2006, it is supposed that DMK won the election because of its promise of free TV sets and rice at Rs.2/kg to the poor. This time also DMK had promised a lot of freebies. How did you counter this move of your opposition?

Amma: My opposition party DMK was quite short-sighted in their approach of freebies. They promised free mixers or grinders to women, free laptops to SC/ST students and free rice of 35 kg to BPL families if voted back to power.

I, on the other hand, realized this was just not enough. Do you think only SC/ST students need laptops. NO. After class 11^th, I think Facebook and Twitter accounts are must for all the students in this digital age. So I decided to give laptops to all the students irrespective of their caste after class 11^th itself. This also projected me as a non-casteist person. This is what you call Killing two birds with one stone.

Also, since I’m not a cheapskate like DMK people, I decided to give mixer as well as grinder to the women in Tamil Nadu. Just like you can’t imagine Idli without Sambhar, in the same way, the idea of a mixer without a grinder was quite ridiculous.

Me: So true.

Amma: Apart from this, I’ll also give free fans to every family considering the extremely hot weather in Tamil Nadu and 4 grams of gold to poor women for mangalsutra. Being a fan of daily soaps myself, I have also decided that free cable connections be installed in every poor household. This will ensure that all my sisters can enjoy these terrific shows on television without having to bear with the bullshit programmes which are telecasted on Doordarshan, which act more as sedatives than entertainers. Remember, a TV set without a cable connection is exactly like serving Idli without Sambhar.

Me: So true….that was really a masterstroke.

Amma: Thank you very much.

Me: But don’t you consider distribution of freebies to be unethical in politics?

Amma: Why is it unethical? Do we consider the various sales organized by big commercial brands as unethical? NO. Just as they put items on sale to lure customers to buy their low quality and obsolete products, same is the case here. And considering the love of Indians for free stuff, I knew that success would be mine.

Me: Rajnikanth was in support of your political opponent DMK. Weren’t you concerned about his superhuman influence on the voters’ psyche?

Amma: If DMK had Rajnikanth, then I had Vijaykanth. And I knew Vijaykanth and I combined will have far more star power than Rajnikanth alone.

J.Jayalalitha was herself a popular Tamil Actress in her yesteryears.

Moreover, Rajnikanth’s superhuman qualities are limited to PJ’s with no semblance of reality. This was confirmed when he was recently admitted to the hospital for breathing problems.

Her mobile beeps. Checks it…

Amma: Another Rajnikanth joke, hahaha.

Me: (chuckling) This election was a great leap forward for the women politicians as Mamata Bannerjee too ousted the left from Bengal after their 3 decade long rule. Would you like to comment on that?

Amma: I am a staunch believer of woman power. I think that women have immense power. Whatever they do, they have the capability to excel. Take the example of Kanimozhi, Mamata and me. While Kanimozhi has proved herself exceptional in the field of corruption, Mamata and I are going to show how good administrators we are. Now that Amma and Didi have come to power, sabhi corrupt logon ki maa behen ek hone wali hai.

Me: I wish that happens. It was really nice of you to take time out from your busy schedule for this interview.

Amma: No problem, it was truly my pleasure.

Me: I wish Tamil Nadu and you all good luck in the world.

Amma: Nandri, Nandri!! I mean Thank you very much.